Today, I Give Flowers

I am blessed to have come into this lifetime a fortunate white female in America with all the comforts and luxuries that has afforded me. I have had the opportunity to experience and explore many amazing things that this beautiful world has to offer: biking, hiking, backpacking, rock climbing, skiing, snowboarding, snowshoeing, whitewater rafting, sea kayaking, ballet, theater, choir, voice lessons, guitar lessons, and most recently, documentary filmmaking. I have climbed in jagged mountain ranges, and backpacked into the depths of the Grand Canyon. I have traipsed through the lush tropical forests of Belize and Guatemala, and hiked across the barren desert of the Canyonlands of Utah.

The list goes on and I am grateful for each and every moment. These moments of wonder, curiosity, creativity, community, love, and appreciation have truly graced my days. The fact that I had parents that nurtured my learning to read when I was three years old and that I am even able to write these words (on a laptop, no less) should be enough to provide me with a deep sense of gratitude and freedom. Yet for some ungodly reason I have been feeling crushed the past few days by an overwhelming, oppressive sense of scarcity. On this day, the 34th anniversary of my first breath, I am to celebrate my birth in the absence of that palpable sense of abundance and community that I’ve felt was the pattern of my life’s fabric. What (the f#$%) is up with that?!

So today I give flowers. Today I will begin a new tradition for my birthday to transform this scarcity that has been masquerading as a truth in my days. I will give flowers in an effort to honor the true abundance that has been at the core of my human experience and continues to flow into my life.

Today I give flowers to my mother for all of her work carrying me in her body, nourishing my heart and soul with love, and helping prepare me for the journey into and through life. This woman who absorbs my pain and tears and reflects it back as undying love and strength.

Today I give flowers to my father, an ultimate provider. The man who instilled in me a strong work ethic and the determinate factor for me having been born a woman in the first place. This man who has worked so hard to serve me the world on a beautiful platter to be eaten with a fork of character, a knife of integrity, and a spoon of humor.

Today I give flowers to my maternal grandparents because I wouldn’t be here without them (along with others), and I am grateful every day that they are still alive. They have built a foundation of family upon which I get to stand and feel firm beneath my feet. I will give flowers to my little sister who never ceases to amaze me with the heart-wrenching beauty, strength and solidity of her spirit. She is a rock, but one that reveals a new and different color depending on the angle at which you gaze and who shines with glittering gold.

And lastly, I offer flowers to recognize each of the friends, family, and acquaintances that have come into my life. I feel fortunate to know each and every one of you, and to be known by you. Today I give flowers for all those that have exited my life and/or the human realm because the world is better having had them in it.

oday I give flowers and say thank you.

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