I know how painful and hard it is to be as honest and vulnerable as you naturally are. The good and true people in this world will honor and celebrate this about you. Others won’t necessarily understand it. And others may want to latch on to some of what you already know- what comes so easily to you and also that which confuses you about humanity a lot of the time.
You were born to good protectors- they could see what you needed at times. Your parents would do anything to protect you, to shield you, but you will have to learn to do this for yourself. They wanted to provide everything in life you wished for as a kid- the life experiences you dreamt of pursuing, the clothes you wanted…every bit of it they were working to provide. What a wonder. They love you so much. What are ways in which you already embody, or could work to embody those characteristics, that resilience and strength?
Grieve now about how you might have wanted things to be different. Then celebrate those same things because of how brilliantly it all turned out: That those shortcomings are now cause for celebration. You were given both a model for what to do, and a way to see what needed to be done.
You’re grieving more than just any one thing right now. You’ve been putting more into others’ grocery baskets than they’re willing to check out with. Give everyone a break.
A new story to embody and work in is that you have all you need. Everything is at your fingertips. You are capable of protecting yourself while opening to let the light in. You are multi-faceted and wise as a result of all of these experiences. There is no chaos in what you are capable of. The experiences that seemed a challenge were because the lesson was being presented in a way that you couldn’t yet embrace or understand. Your strength can carry you.